Thursday, January 31, 2013

Donkeys and the GOP

Breaking news from the right wing. The blogosphere, reaching all the way to at least one English newspaper, has declared an attempted desecration by Obama. What is he going to desecrate?

The facts: The University of Chicago is planning on demolishing an old apartment building in which Ronald Reagan, as a child, lived for less than one year. They're doing this to increase their student parking space. That's it. Those are the facts.

So what has the right wing screaming atrocity? Well, it turns out that the University of Chicago might be considered as one of the places where Obama could possibly build his library sometime in the unknown future.

If this is the site chosen, and if someone comes to visit that library, and if that person parks in this particular parking space which is normally reserved for students, then the University could conceivably be interpreted as having demolished Ronald Reagan's childhood home to create a parking lot for Obama's library. Could be so interpreted. If you're a real dumbass.

(Panic not, that's ass as in donkey.)

Let's be clear, even if the University of Chicago site is chosen for Obama's future library, the library will have its own parking lots. This will not be a parking lot for the library. It would just be a parking lot in which someone was visiting the library might choose to park. And then again, it is more likely they would park in the parking lot for the library which would be close to the library. Still, maybe someone wants a lot of exercise and prefers to park farther away and then walk to the library.

Please forgive the simplicity of the paragraphs above with their many word repetitions, but it is apparently necessary to make things clear to those experiencing a panic attack about this non-event.

It occurs to me that if Republicans could just learn to laugh at themselves then they wouldn't make such fools of themselves all the time. I suppose that's just asking too much.

I see why Bobby Jindal refers to his own party as, "the stupid party".

Get On With It!

Add a new Die Hard movie to the list below. I hear they are already planning yet another. It's working title is, Hurry up and Die Hard, Already!

Die Hard
Creator Roderick Thorp
Original work Die Hard
Print publications
Comics Die Hard: Year One[1]
Films and television
Films Die Hard
Die Hard 2
Die Hard with a Vengeance
Live Free or Die Hard
A Good Day to Die Hard
Video games Die Hard
Die Hard Arcade
Die Hard Trilogy
Die Hard Trilogy 2: Viva Las Vegas
Die Hard: Nakatomi Plaza
Die Hard: Vendetta

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Guns, Jack Boots, President Obama, and Me

Okay. I've always regarded myself as a man who is able to face the truth. If the facts disagree with my cherished opinions, I believe I am not only capable of changing them, but am morally compelled to alter those beliefs to match reality. So, as hard as it is for me to admit, the gun nuts are right . President Obama is coming to take away our guns.

I am a gun owner . But I am a gun owner who believes in reasonable regulation. I'm also a car owner, and we sure a lot of regulations regarding the ownership and operation of vehicles. It always seemed reasonable to me that we should have similar regulations applying to guns.

However, this morning I learned just how wrong I was. Last week I had an incredibly bad case of the flu. I thought I was almost over it but I had a bad relapse last night. As I lay in bed this morning feeling like I couldn't get up for anything at all someone began pounding on the front door.

I just laid there hoping they would go away. Whoever it was refused to give up. I finally dragged myself out of bed and almost crawled of front door. What a surprise I had when I opened it!

It was President Obama.

"Good morning." He said. "I hope you're having a good day."

"No," I said, "I'm very sick." My nose was so stuffed that it came out sounding a little bit different. More like, "Doh. Ahm bery zig."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. So, let's get this over with quickly. I am here to take your guns. If you'll just hand them over, I'll be moving on. And you can get back in bed. Thank you, very much."

I wasn't thinking too clearly, but I did manage to reply, "Go 'way!"

He thought about this for a moment. Then he replied, "Well, since you're so sick, I suppose we can do this another time. But it really would be better to just give them to me now. I have another 648 homes in Apple Valley to visit and collect their guns and then I have to get down to San Bernardino. It's hard to cover so much territory in one day. I just don't know how Santa manages he whole world in a single night."

At this point I began to cough on him so he looked at me one more time and said, "I'll be back." And he didn't even sound German . Or Austrian.

So, there it is. President Obama is really coming to take our guns, personally coming. I felt bad that I didn't have any cookies or milk to offer him, and I suppose he arrived in a helicopter instead of a reindeer powered sleigh, but at least he was wearing jack boots. Well, boots. What are jack boots anyway?

Monday, January 28, 2013


Breaking news! The Pox Propaganda Channel has given up on its theory that Hillary Clinton faked her concussion. Instead they're asking, "Was she pushed?"

The truth is, they're correct! Of course, she wasn't actually pushed. She was struck in the head. With a leadpipe. In the conservatory. By Col. Mustard

How do they get so much right? No wonder conservatives trust them implicitly.

Thursday, January 24, 2013

The Gravedigger's Thanksgiving


A strange one
But still,

A lovely day
A warm day
A day to relax and to enjoy.

An empty house again
An empty nest again
All alone again

Except for God
Of course
Dear God

Pretty good roommate, God
Leaves no messes
Keeps it gently quiet
We get along

But then the call
That damnable call
Why would it have to be today?

The dog
Her dog
My dog
Hers now


It was an ugly divorce
My lawyer said perhaps the worst he'd ever seen
But it was long over
And The dog I loved

Is dead

So we did it
What must be done
My son and I
We said goodbye

And then we dug a hole
Laid in an old blanket
Put her down into the ground

James, so gently
Arranged her
in a pleasant sleeping pose

And then we covered her

First in blanket
then in earth
And it was done
All done

Tired weary
Sweaty achy
Lean on shovel
Don't say much

Look up to empty blue
Three ravens
Spin in sky

Riding thermals
High high
Up the sky

Fading smaller
Fading smaller
Fade away
One by one

And then one
Then gone
All done

We've asked it
Since we were proto-chimps
Before we had the words
When the asking
Was just a feeling
That made our bodies ache

Why is this so?
Why must it be?
Why must love always hurt?

There is no other choice
No alternative is to be had
Without the love
You do not live

The pain is just
The price you pay
The bill come due
For all the joy you had

To live
Is to love
To Love
Is to hurt

That's just the way it is

Later then
The classic feast
The family all around

And it was good
And it was fun
And it was life

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

I Sing Myself

I sing myself
Walt Whitman said
And he was right

For if you do not sing yourself
What man will?

Sing, then
Sing even if
You cannot bear the tune

At least someone will Sing
The song of you.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Psychic Kids

On my shopping trip today, I got the truck filled up. An hour after I get home, James needs to borrow it. How does he know??? When they're little, you can get chores done while they play. No problem. But close the bathroom door and they're pounding on it within 30 seconds. When they're grown, they only need to borrow your vehicle right after you fill it up. do they know???

Lunar Excursion

Hey moon
Yellow moon
Crescent moon
Going down to rest moon
Cheshire moon,
Grinning moon
G'night moon

Monday, January 21, 2013

Inauguration Day


Warm January
Gentle day
The sun rains down
Through window glass
Slowly flowing its way
Across the floor
Gliding, sliding
Like a skater on the ice

Inauguration Day

Mr. Obama
Back again

Writing day

The poem
The words
The flow
Like the sun come down
To gently flood her way
Across the earth

She's just there
She just flows
The day is warm
And it is good

Saturday, January 5, 2013

Goodbye Christmas '13

It's Epiphany Eve. The twelfth day of Christmas. The last night for lights and decorations until next year. It has been a very busy and thoroughly exhausting celebration this year. A very joyful one, too.

From Austin's school play, to Disneyland, to buying trees with my grandson and later my son, to the most surprising present from my middle daughter, dinner at my eldest daughters, and so much more.

It is a celebration marred only by my prodigal daughter who could not rise to the spirit of the season. But there is always hurt in life, it seems. The joys of the season were very deep and very dear and will not soon be forgotten.

As always, I am terribly sad to take down the decorations. But next year will come. And I will enjoy them again. Also I will enjoy my family. And I will again be very happy.