Tristram Shandy, Gentleman (And Savior Of Homunculi)

In response to a friend’s post regarding Republicans insisting that abortion kills people but somehow ignoring how pollution, guns, and many other things kill people and yet Republicans simply don’t care about them, I replied:

Tristram Shandy, Gentleman dealt with a similar problem in 1758. At that time it was an accepted belief that every sperm contained an homunculus; a miniature human waiting to be planted in the field of the woman’s womb where it could grow into a baby and thus a person.

At that time it was not unknown  to baptize babies before birth if it was thought they might not survive delivery by inserting a syringe of holy water into the vagina and thus baptizing the baby. No. I’m not joking. That was a real thing in some circles at that time.

Tristam shandy, Gentleman pointed out that every time a man had sex with a woman uncounted numbers of homunculi were allowed to simply die unbaptized. Therefore, they were damned to hell. 

Finding this prospect horrific, he came up with a solution.  Immediately after having relations with a woman, he suggested, a syringe of holy water should immediately be injected into her reproductive system by her lover-husband so as to save those poor little souls from damnation.

Republicans often declare the existence of a magic moment when human life begins and the fertilized egg becomes ensouled. But eggs are alive prior to fertilization and sperm are alive prior to fertilizing an egg. Fertilized eggs frequently fail to implant and pass out of a woman’s body unnoticed. Should we require a careful examination of every time a woman might just possibly pass such an ensouled egg so that it could be given a burial as some Republicans wish to insist follows every abortion?

A fertilized egg is not the same thing as a baby. A blastocyst is not the same thing as a baby. Not even a fetus is the same thing as a baby.

Calling aborted fertilized eggs, blastocysts, and even fetuses babies makes as much sense as calling them senior citizens. They might grow into that, but they aren’t that yet.

Personally, I find abortion creepy and disturbing. That’s why I support laws which been shown to reduce abortions in nation after nation, time after time.

That is, availability of safe and legal abortions under reasonable restrictions, excellent programs of sex education emphasizing prevention, and the high availability of free or very cheap birth control.

The question becomes do you really want to reduce abortions or do you want to make a big flag waving show of how much you hate abortions by banning the very policies that actually reduce abortions?

And if you’re interested in the interuterine baptism methodologies here’s a link:

http://obgynmedicalantiques.com/fetal-baptism