This Ain’t Your Father’s Isikai

 

This Ain’t Your Father’s Isikai

Manny decided that Terkel and Gundar were good traveling companions.  Like any dwarf in a good fantasy world, they were strong and carrying huge packs in their backs was something they seemed not to even notice. That meant he didn’t have to carry much. And they didn’t even mind!

If you had to be stuck in a strange new world, having been summoned by some weird unknown power, it was  good to have friends like these.  

They knew the route. The low level monsters around were scared of dwarves so the journey was as easy as it could be. It was like a vacation. The more he thought about it, the more Manny realized that it wasn’t so bad being in this world. It’s not like he had left much behind. At least he hadn’t left anything behind that he could think of with regret. He was never very popular. Didn’t have any friends. Really wanted a girlfriend but the harder he tried, the more the girls just turned away.

It’s not as if anybody hated him, it’s just that nobody liked him. But now, he was in a fantasy world! Monsters! Magic! Cat girls! He knew what would happen next. 

As soon as they got to the city of Karenthal, The dwarves would take him to register at the Adventurers’ Guild. There it would be discovered that he has amazing magic powers.   He would level up a super high speed, gathering a harem along the way. A bunny girl, no, a fox girl. And a loli who is actually several hundred years old, so she’s an adult, so that’s OK. It’s not really bad at all. I mean she’s older than I am right? Also,  a whole bunch of other girls too.  Finally, all those impossible dreams are going to come true for me!

He suddenly snapped out of his daydream when he thought he heard a certain word muttered from one of the dwarf brothers to the other.

“Uh, hey guys?” He could hardly control the trembling in this voice. Could it be? The ultimate of fantasies applied to him?

The two stopped and looked at him. “Yeah?” Gundar asked in his typical half mutter, half chuckle.  “You need to piss again? You humans! Spend all your time off in the bushes“

Terkel gave a creepy, rather nasty snigger, and added, “That’s what we get for traveling with a human.“

“No! I was kind of listening to what you guys were saying there.” His voice was starting to tremble.

The two brothers looked at each other. It was a very concerned look. It’s intensity set a thrill through Manny. It must be true. They are in awe of being in my exalted presence.

“I knew it! I did hear you say it! That’s why you’re taking me to the city. It’s because of a prophecy, isn’t it?” He was smiling now. He was lost in visions of a great stunningly glorious future featuring him . He was the Hero who would save the world.

“About that,” Terkel paused, made a stiff little gesture of purshing his lips together, stared up at the sky, then looked at a rock nearby, finally scratched his beard as he studied a tree off to the side of the road and then continued, “There’s some sort of a prophecy somewhere. Just can’t remember the details. I suppose, maybe, it might be about you. Possibly.”  He then poked his brother elbow rather sharply with his elbow.

Gundar, looking as vacant as usual, wrinkled his brow, scratched the back of his head and then added, “Yeah. Yeah. I remember some sort of prophecy, or something. They talked about that in like, you know, church.”  When his brother glared at him he looked puzzled for a moment and then added, “Sometimes. Sometimes the priests talked about something like that in church. I think.”

Tetkel nodded and added, “You know priests. Always going on and on about stuff like that. It’s not like anybody listens. It’s just, you know, you got to go to church, right?”

His heart was pounding so hard Manny thought he could hear the ocean in his ears. “It’s about me, isn’t it? It’s about how this guy from another world is summoned and he’s a great hero and he has magic powers in and he’s super strong and all the girls love him and he saves the world and then a noble and he’s rich right?“ The words ran together without any punctuation. To put it mildly, Manny was excited.

The two brothers shuffled their feet, looked up the sky, looked at each other and finally, Gundar shrugged at his older and more intelligent brother. (It should be noted that being more intelligent than Gundar was not a very great accomplishment, but at least, somehow, Terkel had managed it.)

Terkel sighed. It was not a happy sigh. It could, I suppose, be called a resigned sort of sigh. The kind of sigh a ternaged boy gives when he realizes that the love of his life doesn’t even know who the hell he is.

“Look , we  like you. Cause you remind us of us,” Terkel spoke slowly, focussing all his very deficient intellectual skills into trying to pick exactly the correct words.  “See, we don’t got a lot of friends. You being nice to us, that made us feel real good. That’s why we’re taking you to the city. Because it’s nice to have a friend. It’s good to travel with you.”

“And because of the prophecy, right?” Manny wasn’t going to back down.

“Yeah,” Terkel thought about it for a moment and then continued, “There is this sort of, I guess you could call it a prophecy, that says stuff about, you know, somebody saving the world.”

Manny stopped noticing the brothers and even the whole world around him as he gazed off into his future. “And he’s handsome, and overpowered, and super strong, and all the girls just rush to him cause they can’t resist him…“ His voice trailed off as he dreamed he’s beautiful dreams.

Gundar, who, while not terribly bright, was surprisingly sensitive for a dwarf, shook his head sadly. His brother tightened his jaw, straightened up and looked very very determined. “Who knows? What I know is you gotta go register at the Adventurers’ Guild, right?  So let’s get going.”

Manny woke up enough to realize that he was standing in the middle of the road staring at nothing. He had a weird half smile on his face, but he had a new purpose in life.  He looked at the dwarves, his dear friends who were going to lead him into his glory and demanded, “Tell me the prophecy.”

“Don’t remember it,” Gundar muttered.

“That’s right,” Terkel added. “Who remembers all the church stuff anyway?”

The two of them turned and started back on the journey. They stopped after a few steps when they realized Manny wasn’t coming along. They turned to him. He looked at them with that ridiculous smile on his face, but he didn’t move. The brothers looked at each other. “Well, come on then,” coaxed Gundar.

Manny’s smile spread across his face, “Not till you tell me the prophecy.“

Terkel, ever practical, declared “Prophecy don’t mean nothing if you don’t make it happen. We got to get you registered.“

Manny’s a smile turned into a manic grin. “So there is a prophecy about me!“

Terkel started to say something, and then realized he had trapped himself. There wasn’t any way out of it. He glared at Manny, grabbed his brother by the shoulder and pulled him further away. The two of them started talking in very low tones. Manny couldn’t hear a word they were saying but every now and then Terkel would look up and again glare at Manny. Eventually they reached some kind of conclusion and Terkel lead the way back to deal with their human friend.

“The prophecy is a prophecy. It says stuff. You know, somebody, like somebody from another world, does certain things, other stuff happens, the Dark Lord is defeated, the world is saved. Yay. So let’s get going and get it all happening, right?”

Manny walked over to a low rock, sat down on it and, still smiling, said “No. Not till you tell me the prophecy.”

Turkel was getting frustrated. “If you don’t do the stuff in the prophecy, then the prophecy don’t happen, got it?”

Manny just smiled crossed his arms and waited. Tekel got very red in the face and stomped off to kick a few rocks here and there.  It was up to Gundar.  Responsibility was not something Gundar liked. Life was pretty easy for him. He let his brother make the decisions and then he just went along with it. But his brother, once he got into one of these rages, probably wouldn’t be able to speak for a few hours.

“Manny. You know, my brother and me, we were like you said you used to be in your world. Not a lot of friends. And I mean, actually, to be honest, no friends. We like you. And you like us. Isn’t that enough? Can’t we just go get done what we gotta do?” Gundar might not know how to to think very clearly, but he know how to feel things. He felt this particular situation was getting very dangerous. He also knew the prophecy had to be fulfilled.  

Manny said nothing. He just crossed his arms and waited. 

Maybe it was the right thing to do and maybe it wasn’t; remember that Gundar wasn’t the greatest at thinking things through, including the ultimate consequences his actions might cause, but his brother was out of control and someone had to make a decision. So he made one. “Look, if I tell you the prophecy, you promise you’ll go and get registered like we planned?”

Manny said, “Sure! I just want to know all the wonderful stuff that’s going to happen.“

Gondar looked very sad. “No matter what the prophecy says?“

Suddenly, Manny was very worried. “You mean, like it says I get killed? Or something horrible happens to me?“

“Nothing like that,” explained Gundar. “It’s just the prophecy...it isn’t quite like what you think it is.” He thought for a moment while Manny waited in terror.  “You get to go home after it’s all done and our world does get saved and you don’t get hurt real bad or anything.“

“Then why won’t you tell me!” a very worried Manny was beginning to whine.

Gundar took a deep breath for courage and blurted it all out, “The prophecy says a sad clod from other world comes and that he’s not very bright and he saves the world because he makes just the right mistakes and does just the right dumb thing at the right time.”  He looked at the shocked expression on Manny’s face and added, “I’m sorry. We didn’t want to tell you because we knew you wouldn’t like it.“

Many felt like all the times he’d ever done something really stupid and was so ashamed he wished he could just curl up and die on the spot. “What about the girls?“

Having already said the worst that could be said, Gundar didn’t hesitate to add “It don’t say nothin’ about no girls.”

Manny sat for a very long time. Gundar sat next to him. Terkel finally kicked so many rocks that his feet started to hurt and he just stormed off somewhere out of sight.

Eventually the three got it together and they continued their long, sad journey to the fabled city of Karenthal.   There was a prophecy to be fulfilled.